I am blessed with nine gorgeous children, and I will be the first to tell you there is no greater thing you can do with your life than mother your children. My decision to go to Guatemala with my three oldest children in March had nothing do to with the fact that I think we would make a good missionary team or that "wanting" to go was on my bucket list. It was my husband that suggested I do this, I however couldn't seen how this could work. How can I leave my little people and one with special needs for 12 days? They are so young and they need their mama home. But as Chris persisted and pointed out to me that our older children also need their mom at this age and to experience new things and grow together a nervous excitement began to bubble. I knew he was right, and I know first hand that we serve an unbelievably gracious God, a God who honours a willing heart. My love for babies and small children comes from the overflow of God's love for me and I know that amazing things happen when we make ourselves available for his service. In no way do I feel mentally or emotionally ready to leave, panic and anxiety set in the moment I start to think about it, I am not qualified to teach or really do anything but I am qualified to love. So as the weeks get closer and plane tickets get purchased the excitement grows.. an adventure. An adventure with my children who I have tirelessly raised in the way they should go, praying daily they will not depart from it. An adventure to see where God takes us and moves our hearts. A chance to lavish abandon babies in love and pour into them every ounce I have within me. A chance to take my busy and full, chaotic at times but wonderful life and be stretched in ways that can only produce beauty and growth. Despite my frailties, and little faith knowing this opportunity is in the centre of God's will. No matter how scared I am God's plan will unfold for his glory.
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